wow, it's funny how time flies. But to the point of my entry. I'M GOING TO SOUTH BEACH!! oh and I'M GOING TO BE THERE FOR AQUA GIRL! I havn't been this excited in a really long time. It's going to be a good time.

It's my baby brother. Isn't he the most charming little thing in the world!?!?

So I didn't want to mention anything on LJ becuase I didn't want to jinx anything, but, Adrianne, Joey and I have finally found the PERFECT apartment. Yes, I've been looking for a place for a while now with no luck but we finally did it. It's an amazing 3Bdr with tons of comunal space for 1500. How great is that? Its here in Elmhurst a couple blocks away from the subway and anything else you can imagine. We will be having a house warming in a couple weeks and people whome we will be invinting will get notice. This is going to be a great experience so please wish us only good luck.

Oh Christmas..

Not so much fun.. Hung out with the family got a lot of money and did absolutly NOTHING.. I cant wait for new years.. That should bring a little more excitment..

Havn't posted in a while and it's not for Lack of excitment.. Life has been rather strange. I can't see myself as the same person everyday. It's as if I keep learning more and more about myself each day. I know that it's part of life. It's expected, I just never expected it to happen so rapidly..
I feel like there is so much I have to do with my life and working so much is putting a hault to it. Sometimes I just want to get up and just move to a third world country for a couple of years and help the people of these lands. Then I feel as if I'm not a good enough person to do so. It's not that I have low self esteam it's just that I don't feel like I have accomplished much at my age to be a great person.
Maybe it's just that with the ending of this year coming at me full force I don't have time to think properly. I just hope that with time I will learn the truth about myself and place it to good use. With this new year I hope that I can learn to treat my loved ones the way they should be treated and let them know How much I do care about them with every opertunity I get.
To all my wonderful friends, I hope you all have a GREAT Christmahanukkwanzika. You all desurve it. Thank you for all the great times and funny moments we have shared. With the coming New Year I hope you all get everything you want. I hope happiness follows you all and I can't wait to creat New and Better moments. I Love you All!

Val

and I will be hanging out in DC listening to the catchy toons of Mr.Mraz. I havn't been this excited about anything in a while.

And My song for the day..
Another Kind of Green
John Mayer

Sara's friend she lost her mind
She left him and made it look sexy
You fear I won't be far behind
Thinking I'll be the next to leave
I know I might be anxious
But I'm still not crazy

And I don't need another kind of green
to know I'm on the right side I'm on the right side with you

I used to be the one you saw
When crying alone to sad songs
But then we go and we hit the wall
When nothing has changed, nothing's wrong
It's not the perfect hand
But I don't hit on nineteen

And I don't need another kind of green to know
I'm on the right side
I'm on the right side with you
So go and drift away from me
Adopt some new philosophy
That doesn't hold the two of us in mind
Move into someone else's place
And stare into some other's eyes
And slowly only come to realize

That you didn't need another kind of green to know
I'm on the right side
You're on the side
I'm on the right side with you

I was on the right side
You don't need to lose it to know that you had it good
No, no, you don't need to lose it to know that you had it good
You don't need to lose it to know that you had it good

Why is it that it has been more then two months now and I still can't get her out of my mind. It's insane.. I've never been this hung up on anyone. No matter what I do, who I see, who I date, I can't forget her. everymorning I wake up get ready for work. In the shower, I think of her. As I get dressed, I think of her. As I walk to the subway and listen to music, I think of her. I can relate every song on my Ipod to her. Wether it be a really angry pissy song or a lovie dovie song that reminds me of the begining of our relationship. The days when love was the only thing her and I would think about. Not vengence nor ways to make eachother hurt. So many times I've thought about forcing myself to hate her, but I can't. Surprisingly enough I still love her more then ANYTHING. I don't think she's a bad person. I think she's made some bad decisions.. and I would take her back in a heartbeat if I could or had the chance to. Oh man how life is a bitch. Now a days I'm pretty sure shes over me and doesn't care what I have to say. In all honesty, I understand if she's moved on. It's only natural. I just wonder if she has any feelings for me whatsoever.. oh well all in all.. Gravity is against me.

Get your Apt cleane brother cuz your sister from another mister will be there in Dec. I can't wait, Mraz show and I get to hang out with you!

Can you see me
Floating above your head
As you lay in bed
Thinking about everything
That you did not do
Cause saying I love you
Has nothing to do with meaning it

And I don't trust you
Cause every time you're here
Your intentions are unclear
I spend every hour waiting for a phone call
That I know will never come
I used to think you were the one
Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all

You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that

Do you remember
The way we used to melt
Do you remember how it felt
When I touched you
Oh cause I remember very well

And how long has it been
Since someone you let in
Has given what I gave to you

And at night when you sleep
Do you dream I would be there
Just for a minute or two do you?

You ain't ever coming back to me
That's not how things were supposed to be
You take my hand just to give it back
No other lover has ever done that

Heartache heartache I just have so much
A simple love with a complex touch
There is nothing you can say or do
I called to let you know I'm through with you

Oh man, I really need to NOT drink when I know I have to be at work at the ass crack of dawn.. Hangovers at work aren't fun, But sex in a night club bathroom is awesome!

Overview:
Social gatherings have always been your specialty. You're so good at them that you're often invited as the host or hostesses 'insurance policy' -- a guarantee that the party will be a success. Gosh. Tough to be you, huh?


I can't wait 'till sat!

Now that the dust has settled and I really don't give a fuck about shit..Is anyone interested in going to vegas in Jan?? it wont be a long vacation but it'll be a nice 4 day get away.. I need to get out of NYC for a little and we all know vegas would be a great place to go before I go to either London or spain!

Oh yes it is!

Friend
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement

So why do I always get shit on by them? Why do I put so much trust into people? Why am I so fucking nice to people? Why do I still love her? Why can't I hate her? Why is it so hard to move on? WHAT IN THE WORLD WOULD POSSES SOMEONE TO DO WHAT YOU DID TO ME?!?!?

Everyone please trust your instinct. Don't ever let your feelings go. Usually your gut instinict will lead you away from trouble, even if at that time you don't think it's a bad situation.
I should have known by the way you looked at her. Or the fact that you didn't mind when she hung out with us. Or maybe how she was more of your type then I ever will be.. I was so naive. Stupid is more of what I'm looking for. The amount of times I had the possibility of cheating on you and I not once thought about it. I just said No. The one time I give myself completely to someone I end up fucked. Why does this always happen to me? Maybe I'm just meant to have ONE friend. Maybe Nikki is the ONLY person that wont hurt me and will never betray me. I know there are other people out there that care about me but how am I supposed to trust them.. Maura.. The one girl I thought I had so much in common with, the one I helped out with anything, the girl I was willing to lose my job for.. lol what a fool I was. I think it would have hurt more if it was someone better then me..
You hurt so many people.. there's no more apologizing. You did it. Your "plan" worked, love..
I will never be able to hate you.. I love you to much to do that.. I hate your poor judgment, but I can't hate You..
for the last time I just want to say FUCK YOU!

How scary is it to see a 7' black man angry? VERY! As I'm sitting here drinking my morning coffee (which after last night I need), Lance walks by cursing up a storm talking about how our Shift Leaders are a bunch of SHIT. I absolutly agree with him. I mean you have these people that are "trained" to take on any position in the store if needed and when its needed they don't do anything. I guess thats one of the many wonderful things whole foods has to offer.

In other news, I got completly stupified yesterday. I got out of work at 4 and decided to go hang out with some friends and oh man.. I have never been that INIALATED in my life. We didn't smoke that much but I guess the mixing of pot was what did it to me. All I know is I got stoned by 5 and was still feeling the backlash of getting high at 2 in the morning.

Getting drunken phone calls from people you like at 2 in the morning is cute. Not that I want something like that everyday but it was cute. Not to mention that she admitted to liking me too and that the only way she could call me is if she was drunk.. lol got to love women.

Oh well I guess it's back to work.
or at least surfing the web..

I absolutly adore girls that make me birthday cards.. Don't get me wrong bought cards are great.. but when you make one for someone its just so much more touching.. A BIG thank you goes out to that girl...

The time has finally arived.. I am officialy 21.. oh yeah bitches no more fake id.. not that many places card me anyway but its nice to know I'm old enough now.. Anywho Have a good night yall and drink lots and lots of beer for me.. we all know Ill have way to much in my system..

Today was awesome..
We doubled up on a delivery so i had to take it to the customer and they gave me a $10 tip.. lol not bad for taking a cab 6 blocks and carrying two platters..
Walked from the customers pad to my job and on the way there stoped at the bank.. talked to nikki and went back to work..

They gave me a lunch coupon for my "outstanding" job on sat and the extra hours I've been putting in..

Went to the apple store to pick up the replacement for my ipod. when the geniouse dude turned around after giving me my ipod and I began to walk away I realized I hadn't paid my $30 fee so I turned around and told the dude I hadn't paid the fee and he looks at me and sais oh man I completly forgot.. you know what just go ahead.. its cool.. so i look at him and go.. HUH are you sure.. He was like yeah go for it.. its cool..

And.. i've come to the conclusion that I can't keep trying to be someones friend when they don't want me around.. i cant keep loving someone that has moved on and doesn't feel the same.. i can't be the one giving my all not getting anything.. with that said.. i cant deal with reading your lj and seeing your sn on my bl.. Im sorry.. i love you.. i do.. but this just sucks and I can't deal with it any other way.. If you want to talk feel free to IM me.. Im not blocking you just removing you so that there is no way i can make an ass out of myself when i IM you or reply to any of your LJ entries..

another MUST DL..
Jason Mraz- Please Don't Tell Her

I hear she's kickin’ ass across the board and rock two hundred thousand higher scorer
Just in time to save the world of being taken over.
She's a warrior
I couldn't play again because the game it never end it never even landed on the can
And never let me in to spend my quarter.
There's no love for me no more.

Say it isn't so
How she easily come, how she easy go
Please don't tell her that I’ve been meaning to miss her.
Because I don't.

She was the girl with the broadest shoulders
But she would die before I crawled over them.
She is taller than I am.
She knew I wouldn't mind the view there
Or the altitude with a mouth full of air
She let me down and doubt came out until the now became later.

Say that it isn't so
How she easily come, how she easy go
Please don't tell her because she really don’t need to know

That I'm crazy like the rest of us
And I'm crazier when I'm next to her.

So why after the all of everything that came and went
I care enough to still be singing of the bitter end and broken eras.
I told you I don't but
I am only trying to be the best with my intent to cure
The rest is sure to lay me ease the plural hurts of the words of reverse psychology
That's easier said
Easier than done
Please don't dare tell her what I've become
Please don't mention all the attention I have drawn
Please don't bother cause she'll feel guilty when I'm gone

Because I'm crazy like the rest of us
But I'm crazier when I'm next to her
And it's amazing how she's so self-assured
But I know she'd hate me if she knew my words
Do I hurt anymore
Do I hurt, well
I don't
I don't
I don't

oh boy its that time of year again.. the birtday time.. oh yeah.. so yes Thursday is my birhday and I expect a call from all of you...

hangover are not cute.. Neither are drunken phone calls so Im sorry if I called..